Happy Friday, everyone. For today’s column, I am going to look at a post from Reddit and determine if somebody is in the wrong for not wearing a bra to work.
I broke down a few other of these questions on my show and I also went over the potential dangers of fluoride. You can watch it all here.
Okay, here’s the context for today’s column courtesy of one of Reddit’s famous Am I The A**hole? (AITA?) style posts. Here’s what one person asked:
I (23 Non-Binary AFAB) have stopped wearing a bra to work. I work as an early years teaching assistant so I am constantly bending down to speak to children, pick up toys, etc. And my bra digs into me all day and has been causing me a lot of pain. I have decided to start wearing a tank top under my clothes instead of a bra and I wear lots of layers anyway so, despite having a bigger than average chest, it really isn’t noticeable that I’m not wearing a bra.
The other day I was playing a running game with one of the children so I took my top layer off, I still had on the tank top, a t-shirt, some overalls and a baggy jumper so I was very much covered. Despite this, I was called in to discuss my clothing choices. I had no idea what my boss (42M) was talking about until he mentioned that I really should be wearing a bra around children. I was shocked that he’d even point it out. I told him I felt that I could live without one if it wasn’t obvious and that wearing one was causing me a lot of pain. He said that work was not meant to be comfortable and that I should stick to the ‘unwritten dress code’. I said I would not be wearing one going forward unless the school were willing to pay for one of the comfortable sports bras they make for larger chests (they usually range in price from £70-£150). My boss said I was being unreasonable with my requests and that I would have to wear a bra going forward. If there had been complaints from parents I would understand but no one has said anything apart from him.
Yes, sweetheart, I am sorry to say you are the a**hole. Truthfully, I am a little confused why this even needs to be explained.
You’re asking this question and your role is to work with children. Obviously, you have to be appropriate. Your boss has been completely reasonable. His job is not to make you comfortable. Your duty is to come presentable to work.
There is a standard, of course, that when you show up to work, you’re supposed to look professional. You can’t just walk around wearing whatever you want. Whether you work with children or not, that’s true at every company.
The idea that your employer should have to pay because you want a special bra that will make you more comfortable is even more ridiculous.
Obviously, any parent who is dropping off their child at a school, daycare, club, or athletic team thinks the adult who shows up to work is going to be appropriately dressed.
For some reason, many people have forgotten that decency matters — especially in front of kids.
This post sort of reminds me of a woman who applied for our nannying position. I kid you not, she arrived at my house wearing booty shorts. How could she possibly have thought we were going to hire her? She was wearing short-shorts and a low-cut top.
Why on earth would I want her walking around with my child at a park dressed like that?
It would be blatantly inappropriate.
It’s confusing to me that she would need somebody to sit her down in an office and essentially say, “Hey, you need to dress appropriately in front of small children.”
If the question “What’s appropriate for children?” is a difficult one for you to answer, then you probably shouldn’t have a job around kids.
To be honest, it doesn’t sound as if this person is even mentally fit for the job at all — and not just because she doesn’t want to wear a bra. That you are calling yourself non-binary definitely should have been a red flag for your bosses. You must believe in radical gender ideology that’s not based on truth and is wreaking havoc throughout the West.
This radical gender ideology, along with the nonsense it brings, needs to be taken out of classrooms. The entire goal of this ideology is to break down boundaries so that children can consent to certain sexual things — which they definitely cannot.
This is how you end up with “nonbinary” women thinking they are in the right to let their bare-chest hang loose sans a bra in front of minors.
So yes, to answer your question, you are the a**hole. Until this person puts on a bra, she needs to stay 300 feet away from every playground, daycare, and avoid all children.
It’s that simple.